Finca El Pendulo
At the age of 43, I attained the life that I had expected and carefully planned since graduating college. I was a teacher’s trainer, an actuary, and a mother of two amazing sons. I was happily married for 19 years, owned a reputable art school, and belonged to several groups such as creative writing, tennis, dominos, wine tasting, and Sunday barbecues. I traveled around the world and was in good health, but there was something deep inside that was missing. Despite the “perfect” life, no amount of thinking could tell me what was wrong or why I felt so depressed.
A group of meditators rented a room in my school, and I curiously joined. After the first sessions of experiencing the art of being present, I freaked out. When I was in the meditation session I felt fully conscious but what about the other 23 hours?; it was like I had been sleeping and dreaming. How could I drive, work, go shopping, watch a movie, take my kids to their afterschool activities, train teachers, do accounting, etc… all those without noticing I was there. That is the time when I came to this word for the first time “Sammasati: Remember Yourself”. It was then, that I realized that all my life had been built in a mind-conditioned way. That ‘mind’ and ‘flow of thinking’ had thought how to live my life, and I was discovering how the longing of the Heart and Soul was put aside by the rational, knowledgeable thinking.
And so, my journey into the unknown began that 21 of December 2012 when the world as I knew it collapsed. After that day, I made a statement, that I would say YES to whatever came to my life and will go inside to feel whatever emotion my body would register when taking that next step, no matter how frightening or irrational it might seem, and allowing, just allowing everything to be as it is. Over the next years, I got divorced, sent my sons to boarding school, sold my business, quit all groups, and gave away all furniture, clothes, and other belongings. I wanted to get rid of my life and start all over again, but this time being aware and fully conscious of every decision taken. I finished up with 3 bags of belongings and a ticket to India. The Osho International Meditation Resort, became my meditation home, where I had thousands of insights and realizations. A huge wave of experiences came to me, each one full of synchronicities, intense emotions, flowing energy, and surprises I would have never dare to think about before. A whole new way of perceiving the world was opened to me, and I became very grateful to all the facilitators I have met during these years
By 2016, and after being around the world, life brought me to the place that is my home now, and my mirror: Finca el Péndulo, a ranch which, during the last years, has been my canvass of expression, the pouring of my creativity, and the discovery of my new life
A few years after my arrival, a new experience arrived to my life. I met Humberto, and our paths became parallel. He, as I, was also starting a path of the unknown, through sacred medicines. I first took Ayahuasca, and to my surprise, I realized, the state of consciousness I used to acquire through long periods of meditation, the insights and realizations where present during one night. I could see the great gift nature has given to open this windows of awareness and the chance to release hidden emotions and let go all the poisonous thinking. To be able to go beyond the mind and discover the true longing of the heart and to see how we all have a role in the play of this world of matter and mind, but can witness and therefore, not take it personally. Humberto, chose this place to be his spiritual home, and I opened the doors to all those seeking healing and peace of mind. I have seen hundreds of people come to the ceremonies and start the path of the unknown, with these tools called sacred medicines. I see them coming back with good news of how they have been lovingly moved in their everyday lives. I keep going once in a while to the ceremonies, to go into this space of Samadhi, and continue exploring all that there is beyond the mind
The purpose of Finca el Péndulo and mine have given meaning to my path. And, although, it has been quite a ride and I am still in the process of ‘allowing everything to be as it is’, it feels that this new life is guided by the deepest longings of My Heart and My Soul